Lien Tran
Read/Write Connection;Farbman
Spring 1997

1* Journal of Reading Silent Dancing

Many people say, "Do not judge a book by its cover," but the cover of this book drew me into a journey of reading. The line of the letters Silent Dancing is on top; just below that is a picture of a beautiful four-year old girl. Perhaps she lives with a wealthy family; the girl looks so cute and pretty in her dress. Like many other young girls who usually love toys, she is holding a rattlebox; however, she does not pay attention to the toy in her hands. The young girl appears sad because of wide opened eyes that seem interested of what is in front of her. The quiet lips that have no smile make her look shy and older than her time. Why does this young girl have a feature of sadness? This picture seems to suggest that after reading Silent Dancing I should have the proper answer to that question.

Silent Dancing is a garden of many stories in the childhood of a Puerto Rican girl, Judith Ortiz Cofer. Some chapters in her book are very exciting because her memory sometimes stimulates mine. There are many remembrances that are evoked by the reading this book.

When I first read the caption "More Room," I did not guess that the main character in this chapter was an unhappy person. Soon after reading, I understood she was a sad woman because of only a reason: she could easily get pregnant (actually she had many children). That woman's situation reminds me of my mother. What are the similarities between this character and my Mom? A simple thing: they both were mothers of many children and sometimes felt full of cares when they knew they were carrying another baby. The sound is simple but the fact is not. Like many other women, the first time my Mom gave birth she was very happy; she seemed to feel more power in motherhood. Then day by day, after the birth of her seventh child, my mother became tired of taking care of her big family; she was busy all day with household duties. However, she could not stop having more babies. The pregnancy became a burden; the marvelous feeling of the first time and second time when a child was born disappeared. As my mother got pregnant with her ninth baby, she became quiet and sometimes got angry at my father for no reason although he loved his wife and children so much. The problem for my parents at that time was that in my country people did not know how to control birth so that my Mom decided to sleep alone after she gave the tenth birth. For me that was a sad story. When I became married, my Mom's advice was "To be a mother of three or four children, that is enough." Now I am really surprised to read "More Room" and find a woman's situation the same as my Mom's story.

"You Cuban?" The man had asked my father, pointing a finger at his name tag on the Navy uniform.... "No" my father had answered looking past finger into his adversary's angry eyes "I'm Puerto Rican." "Same shit." And the door closed. (Silent Dancing P.89).

This painful experience happened to an immigrant Puerto Rican man in the 1950's. Today that prejudice is less and less; however, adapting to a new life in the USA there are many lessons that any immigrant must encounter at least once. As for me, a difficult experience that I had in Connecticut is one of my memories when I first came to this country. It was one day in September, five years ago. I left my apartment at 3:00 PM and was carrying my little daughter in my arms. Following the directions I had, I arrived at Whiting Lane School to pick up my two other children after school. Because that was the first time, I was not familiar with West Hartford's streets, and I became lost when walking the kids home. I remember my children and I walked on the Boulevard for about 30 minutes, but I didn't see the corner of Boulevard and South Highland Street there I could turn right and arrive at my apartment. We walked on the Boulevard until I saw a bridge. I felt nervous because I knew we were lost. It was after 5:00 PM, my kids were tired, and my arms were weary with carrying my little daughter. Well, somehow we had to go home; I was more nervous and frightened. Luckily, just at that time I saw a police car coming towards me; I waved my hands for him to stop. I tried so hard to explain to the police officer my situation. He told me not to worry and said, "I will help to drive you and your kids to go home." He explained I just went on Boulevard but took the opposite way, so I was lost. When we arrived at my apartment, it was close to 7:00 PM. I was grateful for the police officer's help and waved to thank him. Even now I still remember everything about that event. I think a lot of immigrants have had the difficult experiences when they first came to live in the USA. It could be a sad, painful, or a comical memory, but it is one of the lessons so that the immigrants can learn and adapt to a new life.

"Felicita had been struck and blinded by a passion that she could not control." ( Silent Dancing P.43 )

The character Felicita in this story reminds me of my cousin Thuy whom many people among my relatives considered a crazy person. Thuy was very cute and bright as a young adult and was the only girl of four children in her family, so she was her parents' favorite. However, her life changed at the age of nineteen. Thuy fell madly in love with Tan, a tall and handsome man with one big weakness: he loved drinking too much. Both talked about his problem from time to time. During the talks, he often promised to stop drinking after their marriage and Thuy was blinded by his appearance in her mind. She thought Tan drank because he felt lonely; maybe having her in his life his drinking problem would disappear. Her family opposed; they considered her foolish and crazy to marry an alcoholic man. "He is a drinking man," warned her parents, but there was nothing that really prevented her from loving Tan. "We have so much love between us; no reason can separate us," She said, refusing to pay attention. About eight years after their marriage, they had two children. One unfortunate thing for her that was Tan returned to drinking; he went to the bar after work and all weekend. From the feeling of sadness, Thuy committed another crazy act; one night, she went to a bar and drank too much. It began to rain hard as she drove home; Thuy was speeding. Suddenly the car in front of her slowed down; she could not stop in time, so her car smashed onto the sidewalk. Fortunately, she was alive, but her left leg was broken by the accident. Perhaps this happening awoke Tan; he stopped drinking then. I do not judge whether Thuy's decision in her marriage was crazy or not because I think not all people have a perfect marriage, not all have a wonderful spouse. If there is love, people can decide for themselves.

5* The ending of my childhood

Back to the days of my childhood, 1968 was a terrible year for me as it was for whole my family. I remember it was the last day of the year. I spent my day helping my mother to clean her grocery store; naively I was unaware of the event that was to proceed. There was no warning of the danger for us. I got home at nightfall. Feeling satisfied with my work, I went to take a shower. My Mom was making dinner. When my father got home at 10 PM after he had brought some presents to my grandmother's house, we sat around the table to have dinner. My brothers and sisters seemed so happy as they waited for the New Year celebration at midnight. After helping my mother cook the special food for our New Year feast, I leaned back against the counter to watch the TV. I was asleep until the noises and detonation of firecrackers woke me up. There was a tradition in my country; people usually welcomed New Year by firing many crackers. However, that night the detonation of firecrackers was the chance for the flare up of a war between the North and South Vietnam people. The gun fire blended in with the boisterous firecrackers. Many tragedies fell upon the people in my country. For my family, my grandmother was killed, my two cousins were injured, one of them was disabled, and our grocery store was destroyed; not one piece remained after that horrible New Year night. As I looked at my mother, I saw hurt and desperation in her eyes. My father became meditative and more quiet after that nightmare. Little did I know that night was the end of my childhood paradise. The tragedies kept me from my childhood; I was no longer a pleasant and innocent thirteen years old. That nightmare seems still to linger in my mind until this day.

Actually, Judith Ortiz Cofer's childhood and mine are very different Her childhood seemed to be much wealthier and happier than mine. For example, when she was a little girl, Cofer had peaceful times under the mango tree playing and listening to the tales that were told by her grandmother. She played with expensive toys that her father had sent from America. When I was a young girl, however, the games for me were often outdoor activities. They also required imagination and creativity. One of my favorite games was playing with my brothers flying the kites in a field and looking at them; those kites, of course, were made by me. I spent most of the summer days in the fields where my grandmother worked. Unlike Cofer's grandmother, my grandmother did not have free time to tell the tales to her grandchildren. My toys were usually made out of household materials; I used little bottles as the dolls and dressed them up in tiny paper clothes. Some characters in Cofer's childhood were exciting just like some of the people in my childhood, but the ending of her childhood and mine were very different. At the age of fifteen, Cofer had some boyfriends; they loved and admired her. She fell in love for the first time and learned a lesson about the love; she also was no longer a child at the age of fifteen. However, the ending of my childhood was caused by a war. Like the rope of a kite was broken in the raging wind, my childhood's kite disappeared into the sky. The tragedies of the war fell upon the people in my family and my country; they shattered my innocent childhood when I was only a thirteen years old girl. Although everyone has a different memory about their life, and each of us has special ending to our childhood, reading Silent Dancing gave me the urge to recall these remembrances.