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chapter 5.1 Embedded Thoughts: Writing

Think about something that irritates you (for example: your neighbor's radio playing at 2:00 A.M., the way a relative gives you advice you don't ask for, the smell of peanut butter cookies, the way your roommate leaves the milk on the table to spoil . . .). How do you respond to that irritation and why? What would you like to do about it? On scrap paper, use freewriting or clustering to jot down everything you can think of about the irritation you've chosen.

  1. Rearrange what you've written into one paragraph, selecting the details that you feel the most strongly about. Start your first sentence with the words "I hate . . . ," and write a short paragraph about this pet peeve.

  2. Look through your paragraph and put asterisks (*) after any of the following words: because, unless, if, while, until, which. Then put an asterisk after any verb form ending in -ing without an auxiliary in front, or any verb form with the word to in front. These words probably begin embedded thoughts.

If your teacher or study group would like you to develop this exercise into a longer descriptive paragraph, please revise it double-spaced on a fresh piece of paper, a word processor, or a class bulletin board.

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